Alarm Clocks for the Heavy Sleeper

I have a terrible time getting up in the morning. When I say terrible, I'd like to clarify. I have over seven physical alarm clock devices, and four alarm clock apps spanning both apple and android platforms. I have family members who call me or come into my room to wake me up. Despite all this, I am only successfully on-time about 60% of the time. These are extremely bad statistics.
Also, the earliest I have to get up is 9:30 AM, and that's only on Sundays. I have never met anyone else who has as much trouble with getting up as I have. My only fault in both work and school is punctuality and attendance. In all other aspects I am far above average. This problem makes it hard to find good references for jobs or other competitive applications. Although all my professors and employers are very positive about my academic or job performance, I am always worried that my poor punctuality will ruin my otherwise good chances. I have seen doctors and sleep specialists who all seem to have the same answer, "try harder, there are solutions, find them."
Because of my age, I think people just assume that my problems with mornings are normal or the result of a lack of effort.

I'd like you to meet London.

Not Actually London

When I was about five my family started babysitting an (almost) newborn baby named London. She was a great kid, really she was, but when she was angry, all bets were off. Suddenly she became this terrible bringer of doom, and there was no reasoning with her. My five-year-old mind blew her anger way out of proportion, and suddenly (in my mind) when she was angry, she could crush cities.
I don't know when it happened, but at some point early in the whole babysitting process, I came to the conclusion that there was a tiny little angry London who lived in my brain. There was no reasoning with this micro entity, and despite my best intentions, tiny brain London would tantrum like crazy until she got her way. Even though I really wanted to do the right things, Micro London would cause me to misbehave.

Just like that, at five-years-old, I named and identified my Id.
Freud would be so proud.

The concept of micro brain London never really went away as I got older, but not too long ago I stumbled across a webpage which explained this same concept in a little different way. I have adopted many of the things found in this webpage, and used them to develop the theory that I founded at only five-years-old. Here is an excerpt:

"Quora: How do I get Over My Bad Habit of Procrastinating?:

I'll answer your question, but first I need to explain all of human civilization in 2 minutes with the aid of a cartoon snake.

Humans like to think we're a clever lot. Yet those magnificent, mighty brains that allow us to split the atom and touch the moon are the same stupid brains that can't start an assignment until the day before it's due.

We evolved from primitive creatures, but we never quite shed ourselves of their legacy. You know the clever, rational part of your brain you think of as your human consciousness? Let's call him Albert. He lives in your brain alongside an impulsive baby reptile called Rex:

(Rex is your basal ganglia, but that's not very catchy so I'm sticking with Rex).

Rex evolved millions of years ago - unsurprisingly enough, in the brains of reptiles - and his instincts guide and motivate you to this day. Hunger. Fear. Love. Lust. Rex's thoughts are primitive and without language.

Here's the bit you're not going to like. Rex makes the final call on all your decisions. Every. Single. One.

We like to think of Albert as "our true self" - the conscious part of your brain. He's the talking, reasoning part. When we decide to go to the gym or write that term paper, Albert made that decision. 

Rex does listen to Albert. Like a child, he will do a lot of what he's told, as long as he wants to. But if Rex prefers to crash on the sofa to watch Survivor and eat Cheetos, that's what you're going to do.

The incredible ascension of mankind that surrounds us is largely possible because we've developed systems to nurture our reptilian brains, to subdue, soothe and subvert them. 

Much of this system we call "civilisation". Widely available food and shelter take care of a lot. So does a system of law, and justice. Mandatory education. Entertainment. Monogamy. All of it calms Rex down for long enough for Albert to do something useful - like discover penicillin, or invent Cheetos. 

 Now let's look at your procrastination.

You're making a decision with your conscious mind and wondering why you're not carrying it out. The truth is the real decision maker - Rex - is not nearly so mature.

Imagine you had to constantly convince a young child to do what you wanted.  For simple actions, asserting your authority might be enough. "It's time for dinner". But if that child doesn't want to do something, it won't listen. You need to cajole it:

• Forget logic. Once you've decided to do something, logic and rationale won't help you. Your inner reptile can be placated, scared and excited. But it doesn't speak with language and cannot be reasoned with.
• Comfort matters. If you're hungry, tired or depressed your baby reptile will rebel. Fail to take care of yourself, and he'll wail and scream and refuse to do a damn thing you say. That's what he's for. Eat, sleep and make time for fun.
• Nurture discipline. Build a routine of positive and negative reinforcement. If you want a child to eat their vegetables, don't give them dessert first. Reward yourself for successes, and set up assured punishments for your failure. Classic examples include committing to a public goal, or working in a team - social pressure can influence Rex.  
• Incite emotion. Your reptile brain responds to emotion. That is its language. So get yourself pumped, or terrified. Motivational talks, movies and articles can work, for a while. I use dramatic music (one of my favorite playlists is called Music to conquer worlds by). Picture the bliss associated with getting something done, or the horrors of failing. Make your imagination vivid enough that it shakes you. We use similar tricks on children for a reason: "brush your teeth or they'll fall out".
• Force a start. The most important thing you can do is start. Much of Rex's instincts are to avoid change, and once you begin something those instincts start to tip into your favor  With enough time, you can even convince Rex to love doing the things he hated. There's a reason we force kids to go to school or to try piano lessons.
• Bias your environment. Rex is short sighted and not terribly bright. If he sees a Facebook icon, he'll want it. It's like showing a child the start of a cool TV program immediately before bedtime. Design your environment to be free from such distractions: sign out of instant messenger, turn off notifications, turn off email. Have separate places for work and fun, and ideally separate computers (or at least accounts).

Once you know what to look for, you'll start to recognize the patterns and control them.

There's an impulsive baby reptile in your brain, and unfortunately he has the steering wheel. If you can be a good parent to him he'll mostly do what you say, and serve you well. Just remember who's in charge.

(Quora excerpt URL: http://www.quora.com/Life-Advice/How-do-I-get-over-my-bad-habit-of-procrastinating) 

----------END OF EXCERPT

This tiny London, or Rex as I now call him. is who I blame for my problems with getting up. The problem is that Rex wakes up BEFORE Albert wakes up. And he is extremely careful not to wake Albert up because then he will have to do things which he hates (like actually getting out of bed). When an alarm goes off, Rex immediately springs into action, and he is exceedingly good at getting the loud, annoying noise to go away before Albert hears it.

My challenge then, is to find an alarm which will always wake Albert up, and one that Rex cannot possibly sabotage.

I have decided to start reviewing all the things I have tried in the hopes that my experiences will help others. Also, if and when I finally find a solution (a solution being an option which consistently works for me), I'd like to shout it from the rooftops so that other people in my situation (if they exist) can avoid trying things which don't really work.

Option 1: Multiple Alarms

I currently have seven alarm clocks, ranging from beep-beep alarms to clock radios and I still have problems. Next?







Option 2: Extremely loud alarm

One of my alarms can be turned up to a volume where it literally knocks things off of my counters. I have found that this alarm is almost less effective than any of my others because it is so dramatically terrifying I leap out of bed and turn it off before I even wake up. Oh well.






Option 3: Moving alarm clock

This alarm clock is called the Clocky. When it goes off, it rolls off of the counter where it's sitting a rolls around. The concept is that you will have to get up and find the moving clock, which will make you wake up. Nice concept, but the reality is that the clock doesn't move very far from the original location. Also, the clock is loudly chirping and flashing a bright blue light which makes finding the clock child's play. I think it worked once, and then after that, I never even remember it going off.

An improvement on the idea would be that the clock stays on the counter and several small pieces detach from the clock and roll around. You would have to find the pieces (which are not making noise or flashing lights) and replace them in order to silence the alarm. This would be at least somewhat challenging since the pieces wouldn't be loudly and brightly signaling their location.

Option 4: Prescription drugs

 My doctor gave me Nuvigil samples to try. The idea is that you wake up about 30 minutes from when you need to be up for real and take the pill. By the time the alarm goes off, the drug has made you so awake and alert there's no way you could go back to sleep even if you wanted to. This waking-up-in-the-morning use isn't the prescribed use for the drug. It's often prescribed to ER doctors and other people who work insanely long shifts. It's a stimulant and it keeps you alert.

The problem is the Nuvigil only worked to get me up in the morning if I successfully woke up the initial time and had the presence of mind to take the pill. This made it an unpredictable solution, and it didn't insure my success.
Also, since I wasn't using it in its labeled way, as a stimulant for improved alertness in extreme work situations, my insurance wouldn't cover it for long-term use anyway.

Option 5: Smart alarms

I found an app on my tablet which forces the user to go through a series of tests or exercises in order to silence the alarm. The tests were things like matching memory exercises, math problems, shaking, tapping, drawing, ect.
This idea for an alarm was the most exciting for me because it sounded like it would work. However, the very first time it went off, Rex quickly realized that although the app could not be closed or silenced, turning the tablet off was just a button away, and even the alarm app couldn't keep me from turning the entire system off. Bam! Entire genius idea down the toilet. Now the genius app alarm with its cool tests and engaging exercises was just another alarm clock, and not a very loud or annoying one either.

Option 6: Paying someone to wake me up

For a short time I was paying my mom to get me out of bed. The problem was, since I couldn't pay her a whole lot (being a college student), it wasn't her first priority, and she wasn't reliable enough to justify the money.







Well, that's it so far. I'll be updating as needed.

Adams Shoes

A couple days ago a high-schooler killed himself. He went to my high-school, dated some of my friends, and hung in the background. I didn't know him, I never even met him, but the whole incident brought out a flurry of opinions. Of course everyone has their own two cents when a tragedy happens.
Everyone reacts in their own way and then feed off of everyone else.
So often, the phrase I hear when an acquaintance or friend commits suicide is, "I wish I had known." or "I could have helped."

But I, being philosophical in nature and cynical at heart, have to ask, "Really? You WOULD want to know, and you WOULD have helped?"
Now, I have learned throughout life to avoid vocalizing my opinions. I don't mean any harm, but my opinions tend to poke those sore spots in humanity. However, on this blog, where I am anonymous, I can speak freely.

So when considering this fascinating facet of humanity, I have made two observations.
1) The Woodwork Friends Phenomenon
Everyone is distantly related, secretly in love with, or best friends with someone who commits suicide. Why?
Because everyone wants in on the tragedy!
2) One-Sided Regrets
It's easy to make big statements when you don't have to follow them up with action. Sure, you SAY you would have helped, but what about if you got a phone call at midnight, where someone you know says they're holding a gun to their head.
You talked them through it!
Good for you!
What about the second time it happens?
What about the third?
Then suddenly you're faced with the problem of how to dump your unstable ex-friend onto a therapist without the danger of sudden I've-been-betrayed-and-I-have-no-one-I-can-trust-now suicide.
See my gist? You no longer want to help, this person is a problem and a source of stress.
Most of humanity will go through all of these cause and effect scenarios in their head very early on in the process and start looking for an exit.

But, these same people will cry and swear they would have been there at the funeral of their friend/acquaintance.

So I decided I would meditate on this concept and try portray this sad truth through the eyes of Adam. But not just Adam, through the eyes of every person who has been in his shoes.

-Adam's Shoes-
-------------------------------------------

It's a myth. You know that?
It's a myth that people just fade away. You know that song by Blaine Larson "How do you get that lonely"? Well in the song it says,
"how do you get that lonely, and nobody knows?"
Well, my answer is that you don't.

People see pain. If the person closest to you were contemplating suicide, you would see the warning signs. Even if it was only the smallest little hint of change, you would still see it. Even if you couldn't decipher what you were seeing, it's there, nagging at the very edges of your subconscious.

The truth is that we're taught that inquiring into other people's lives is rude. We all live in bubbles. If you don't believe that, try greeting someone with a hug that lasts for more than fifteen seconds.

As children we are taught to respect people's bubbles. By the time we reach adulthood it is common courtesy. That's why even though there are red flags people still kill themselves. It's not because they're sneaky enough to slip past the suicide prevention patrol, it's because helping someone through an emotional breakdown requires stepping into their bubble, and being stubborn enough to stay there even if you find resistance.

Sure everyone blubbers at their funerals. "Oh why? Why? Why?" they all sob sadly. But no one is comfortable enough to take away the pill bottle when it's shaking in someone's fingers. No one is secure enough to take that shaking hand and hold it until it stops shaking.
Who needs mental hospitals and straight-jackets if anyone where strong enough to open up their arms and accept whatever falls forward?

Suicides will never end because number one, there are exceptions. There are people who deserve to end their pain. There are people with whom death is justified. People who have lived with the scales between pain and peace so steeply off-balance for so long, that they walk through the gates of oblivion with a lightened burden.

The second reason that suicide will never end is because we live in a society that draws away from discomfort. The emotionally sickened individual stares out into the world with a gun in one hand and a phone in the other.
He flips through names of people who are closest to him, but he is whipped into the social understanding that they will either be bothered by him, or that they will just let him down.
He is forced to realize that all anyone ever has is himself.

That's the problem with suicide. All we can ever really count on having tomorrow morning is ourselves, and for someone who is dying inside, their own internal nudge to keep pushing on isn't enough of a reason to live. People don't slowly die inside over a span of days or weeks without friends. All too often, the very people who mourn at the funeral are the same people who have been watching them die while standing quietly on the sidelines.

Source emitted to protect identity

Source emitted to protect identity