Alarm Clocks for the Heavy Sleeper

I have a terrible time getting up in the morning. When I say terrible, I'd like to clarify. I have over seven physical alarm clock devices, and four alarm clock apps spanning both apple and android platforms. I have family members who call me or come into my room to wake me up. Despite all this, I am only successfully on-time about 60% of the time. These are extremely bad statistics.
Also, the earliest I have to get up is 9:30 AM, and that's only on Sundays. I have never met anyone else who has as much trouble with getting up as I have. My only fault in both work and school is punctuality and attendance. In all other aspects I am far above average. This problem makes it hard to find good references for jobs or other competitive applications. Although all my professors and employers are very positive about my academic or job performance, I am always worried that my poor punctuality will ruin my otherwise good chances. I have seen doctors and sleep specialists who all seem to have the same answer, "try harder, there are solutions, find them."
Because of my age, I think people just assume that my problems with mornings are normal or the result of a lack of effort.

I'd like you to meet London.

Not Actually London

When I was about five my family started babysitting an (almost) newborn baby named London. She was a great kid, really she was, but when she was angry, all bets were off. Suddenly she became this terrible bringer of doom, and there was no reasoning with her. My five-year-old mind blew her anger way out of proportion, and suddenly (in my mind) when she was angry, she could crush cities.
I don't know when it happened, but at some point early in the whole babysitting process, I came to the conclusion that there was a tiny little angry London who lived in my brain. There was no reasoning with this micro entity, and despite my best intentions, tiny brain London would tantrum like crazy until she got her way. Even though I really wanted to do the right things, Micro London would cause me to misbehave.

Just like that, at five-years-old, I named and identified my Id.
Freud would be so proud.

The concept of micro brain London never really went away as I got older, but not too long ago I stumbled across a webpage which explained this same concept in a little different way. I have adopted many of the things found in this webpage, and used them to develop the theory that I founded at only five-years-old. Here is an excerpt:

"Quora: How do I get Over My Bad Habit of Procrastinating?:

I'll answer your question, but first I need to explain all of human civilization in 2 minutes with the aid of a cartoon snake.

Humans like to think we're a clever lot. Yet those magnificent, mighty brains that allow us to split the atom and touch the moon are the same stupid brains that can't start an assignment until the day before it's due.

We evolved from primitive creatures, but we never quite shed ourselves of their legacy. You know the clever, rational part of your brain you think of as your human consciousness? Let's call him Albert. He lives in your brain alongside an impulsive baby reptile called Rex:

(Rex is your basal ganglia, but that's not very catchy so I'm sticking with Rex).

Rex evolved millions of years ago - unsurprisingly enough, in the brains of reptiles - and his instincts guide and motivate you to this day. Hunger. Fear. Love. Lust. Rex's thoughts are primitive and without language.

Here's the bit you're not going to like. Rex makes the final call on all your decisions. Every. Single. One.

We like to think of Albert as "our true self" - the conscious part of your brain. He's the talking, reasoning part. When we decide to go to the gym or write that term paper, Albert made that decision. 

Rex does listen to Albert. Like a child, he will do a lot of what he's told, as long as he wants to. But if Rex prefers to crash on the sofa to watch Survivor and eat Cheetos, that's what you're going to do.

The incredible ascension of mankind that surrounds us is largely possible because we've developed systems to nurture our reptilian brains, to subdue, soothe and subvert them. 

Much of this system we call "civilisation". Widely available food and shelter take care of a lot. So does a system of law, and justice. Mandatory education. Entertainment. Monogamy. All of it calms Rex down for long enough for Albert to do something useful - like discover penicillin, or invent Cheetos. 

 Now let's look at your procrastination.

You're making a decision with your conscious mind and wondering why you're not carrying it out. The truth is the real decision maker - Rex - is not nearly so mature.

Imagine you had to constantly convince a young child to do what you wanted.  For simple actions, asserting your authority might be enough. "It's time for dinner". But if that child doesn't want to do something, it won't listen. You need to cajole it:

• Forget logic. Once you've decided to do something, logic and rationale won't help you. Your inner reptile can be placated, scared and excited. But it doesn't speak with language and cannot be reasoned with.
• Comfort matters. If you're hungry, tired or depressed your baby reptile will rebel. Fail to take care of yourself, and he'll wail and scream and refuse to do a damn thing you say. That's what he's for. Eat, sleep and make time for fun.
• Nurture discipline. Build a routine of positive and negative reinforcement. If you want a child to eat their vegetables, don't give them dessert first. Reward yourself for successes, and set up assured punishments for your failure. Classic examples include committing to a public goal, or working in a team - social pressure can influence Rex.  
• Incite emotion. Your reptile brain responds to emotion. That is its language. So get yourself pumped, or terrified. Motivational talks, movies and articles can work, for a while. I use dramatic music (one of my favorite playlists is called Music to conquer worlds by). Picture the bliss associated with getting something done, or the horrors of failing. Make your imagination vivid enough that it shakes you. We use similar tricks on children for a reason: "brush your teeth or they'll fall out".
• Force a start. The most important thing you can do is start. Much of Rex's instincts are to avoid change, and once you begin something those instincts start to tip into your favor  With enough time, you can even convince Rex to love doing the things he hated. There's a reason we force kids to go to school or to try piano lessons.
• Bias your environment. Rex is short sighted and not terribly bright. If he sees a Facebook icon, he'll want it. It's like showing a child the start of a cool TV program immediately before bedtime. Design your environment to be free from such distractions: sign out of instant messenger, turn off notifications, turn off email. Have separate places for work and fun, and ideally separate computers (or at least accounts).

Once you know what to look for, you'll start to recognize the patterns and control them.

There's an impulsive baby reptile in your brain, and unfortunately he has the steering wheel. If you can be a good parent to him he'll mostly do what you say, and serve you well. Just remember who's in charge.

(Quora excerpt URL: http://www.quora.com/Life-Advice/How-do-I-get-over-my-bad-habit-of-procrastinating) 

----------END OF EXCERPT

This tiny London, or Rex as I now call him. is who I blame for my problems with getting up. The problem is that Rex wakes up BEFORE Albert wakes up. And he is extremely careful not to wake Albert up because then he will have to do things which he hates (like actually getting out of bed). When an alarm goes off, Rex immediately springs into action, and he is exceedingly good at getting the loud, annoying noise to go away before Albert hears it.

My challenge then, is to find an alarm which will always wake Albert up, and one that Rex cannot possibly sabotage.

I have decided to start reviewing all the things I have tried in the hopes that my experiences will help others. Also, if and when I finally find a solution (a solution being an option which consistently works for me), I'd like to shout it from the rooftops so that other people in my situation (if they exist) can avoid trying things which don't really work.

Option 1: Multiple Alarms

I currently have seven alarm clocks, ranging from beep-beep alarms to clock radios and I still have problems. Next?







Option 2: Extremely loud alarm

One of my alarms can be turned up to a volume where it literally knocks things off of my counters. I have found that this alarm is almost less effective than any of my others because it is so dramatically terrifying I leap out of bed and turn it off before I even wake up. Oh well.






Option 3: Moving alarm clock

This alarm clock is called the Clocky. When it goes off, it rolls off of the counter where it's sitting a rolls around. The concept is that you will have to get up and find the moving clock, which will make you wake up. Nice concept, but the reality is that the clock doesn't move very far from the original location. Also, the clock is loudly chirping and flashing a bright blue light which makes finding the clock child's play. I think it worked once, and then after that, I never even remember it going off.

An improvement on the idea would be that the clock stays on the counter and several small pieces detach from the clock and roll around. You would have to find the pieces (which are not making noise or flashing lights) and replace them in order to silence the alarm. This would be at least somewhat challenging since the pieces wouldn't be loudly and brightly signaling their location.

Option 4: Prescription drugs

 My doctor gave me Nuvigil samples to try. The idea is that you wake up about 30 minutes from when you need to be up for real and take the pill. By the time the alarm goes off, the drug has made you so awake and alert there's no way you could go back to sleep even if you wanted to. This waking-up-in-the-morning use isn't the prescribed use for the drug. It's often prescribed to ER doctors and other people who work insanely long shifts. It's a stimulant and it keeps you alert.

The problem is the Nuvigil only worked to get me up in the morning if I successfully woke up the initial time and had the presence of mind to take the pill. This made it an unpredictable solution, and it didn't insure my success.
Also, since I wasn't using it in its labeled way, as a stimulant for improved alertness in extreme work situations, my insurance wouldn't cover it for long-term use anyway.

Option 5: Smart alarms

I found an app on my tablet which forces the user to go through a series of tests or exercises in order to silence the alarm. The tests were things like matching memory exercises, math problems, shaking, tapping, drawing, ect.
This idea for an alarm was the most exciting for me because it sounded like it would work. However, the very first time it went off, Rex quickly realized that although the app could not be closed or silenced, turning the tablet off was just a button away, and even the alarm app couldn't keep me from turning the entire system off. Bam! Entire genius idea down the toilet. Now the genius app alarm with its cool tests and engaging exercises was just another alarm clock, and not a very loud or annoying one either.

Option 6: Paying someone to wake me up

For a short time I was paying my mom to get me out of bed. The problem was, since I couldn't pay her a whole lot (being a college student), it wasn't her first priority, and she wasn't reliable enough to justify the money.







Well, that's it so far. I'll be updating as needed.